Things I Should Have Said

I always feel a little funny when I write a blog post about someone. Okay, well not when I write it about my family, which is the point of this blog. But if I mention a person with which I am very familiar, I think to myself, should I post the information I have? So I try to keep things pretty anonymous around here, and then go ahead and write because by golly, 20 years from now, I want to remember all the things that happened, not just the few that might stand out.

And so it was when I wrote the letter to the girls on Monday. I knew that while the child in question did not read my blog, that her mother might. And I wondered if I should mention to the mom that I was writing about her child. I thought about it, tossed the idea around in my mind, and then forgot about the whole idea of talking to her mom. I kept names out and didn't mention any identifying characteristics, and since there are several moms around here that read the blog, I could have had any one of them at my door asking was it my daughter? Thankfully, no one did.

I have to say this. As much as I wrote that my kids handled things well that day, they don't always. It could have just as easily been one of the girls who said something inappropriate because they might have held a grudge or been mad at another person. To date, they haven't done so outside of the house because they are too shy, but they have been caught standing by when they should have spoken up, an act I find just as unpalatable. These kids are only in 5th grade, and while we hold them to very high standards, they are going to make mistakes. My kids included.

But the girls are still awesome, I'm not going to lie. And so is the girl that chose unwisely the other day. If I didn't think so, if I thought she was a bad influence, she would not be welcome at my home. This is the sort of girl that most people like and some people would like to be: friendly, polite, smart, pretty, a general all around good girl. And after posting, I realized that I felt somewhat awful about the fact that her decision was a learning experience for my children, although I'm certain that she, too, learned quite a bit from this situation. I thought about how I'd feel if I read about my daughter and I started this post. It just took me this long to actually get it up here. (Speaking with her mother today reminded me that I had the post sitting in my account.)

The thing is, I learned a lot from what happened, too. The incident reminded me of so much, of how difficult it is to be on the brink of hormonal changes, how hard it can be to channel negative energy in the right direction, and how easily we can slip from a moment of filled with goodness to one rife with negativity. She made a mistake, plain and simple, something we all do everyday, something that makes us human. And not something that makes us less awesome.

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